Statement In Response To the Waffle House Belgian Waffle Ban
I am disheartened to learn of the recent decision by Waffle House to ban Belgian waffles in its restaurants on the day of the US versus Belgium World Cup soccer match. It is my conviction that all breakfast items, no matter their nutritional value or country of origin, should be welcome at our shared table.
Every morning in our country, without forethought or foreboding, Americans are greeted by the happy countenance of our brother-the pancake. It is in this same fraternal spirit that we should extend a no less hearty welcome to our cousin-the waffle.
It is true, and we recognize the fact, that Americans profess a special bond with the pancake, but of the waffle, we many times confess a continuing mystification. What better opportunity then to face one another, man and waffle, across that kitchen table of batter understanding.
While it may be too late for Waffle House to cancel this unfortunate act, it is not too late for we as a united people to try to counteract the unpredictable repercussions which may result. I call on good citizens everywhere to communicate to their local Waffle House representatives, in firm but respectful manner, that in this land all breakfast items are welcome.
To be clear-I do not say, and would not be so bold as to claim, that all breakfast items are created equal. Breakfast items are not men. They do not share the same God-given rights that we, as their creators, are guaranteed by our Constitution. Instead, they call us to a higher purpose; for who among us would not wish to prove more satisfying to our brethren?
What would it benefit a person to proclaim that sausage links are more tasty than hash browns, and then on the day of the contest, to prohibit the comparison? I think, as a nation, we are better than that.
My hope is that no matter where breakfast may be served, we shall do a much better job of serving the institution of breakfast itself.
The Painter Of Pancakes,