Thursday, November 26, 2009

Debasing The Art Of Painting, Etc.


You are an exceptional painter. It is, however, pretty sad that you debase the art of painting by creating this crap. You have an enormous gift but you piss it away by doing pancake paintings. Have a little dignity and doing something worthy of your talent. You'll go much farther than your current 15 minutes of fame.

PS - find someone who knows how to build a website. Your layout sucks.


First, allow me to address your last comment. My web site is surreal and a bit unnavigationable, sort of like myself. I like it because I know where everything is. I suppose it does suck but I like it sucking. At the moment it looks even worse than normal because Lunarpages has suspended my account for having too many visitors such as yourself, so all of the pretty pictures have been replaced with white boxes with little red x's in them, which increases the vertigo. Now allow me to address the beginning of your email.

Please send me a photo of yourself so I can paint myself pissing on it. If it isn't too much trouble, please have your mouth open in the photo. I'm certain you have some sort of appropriate shot left over from some well attended and somewhat dignified suited event where you appear to be sucking air while holding ice cubes in your armpits-a wedding or a bar mitzvah, perhaps.

All the best,
Dan Lacey
The Painter Of Pancakes